


Sudden Sorrows

by Andil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-28 10:05:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10829052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andil/pseuds/Andil
Summary: Severus Snape has just recieved the worst news in his life, and now he has to deal with the secrets left behind.  A 3 part story





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old piece that I decided to bring over :)

She coughed as she made her way down the hall, stumbling as she fought to keep control of her legs. As a sudden new wave of nausea passed her she fell to her knees, fighting to stay awake. _No… Not now… So close…_  
  
She pursed her lips as she forced herself to her feet and inched closer to her designation. She fought to control the unbearable coughs when she finally arrived in front of the painting. She held her wand tightly in her hand as she found breath in between her coughs enough to harshly whisper out, “Alohamora.” The painting swung open and she took out the box inside with shaking hands, falling to her knees the moment that she had the precious object in her hands.  
  
Just then a very painful cough reverberated painfully through her body, and she noticed the deep red that now was staining her hands. A numbing dizziness fell her senses, and she barely even noticed when she hit the floor. Her breath became labored as she looked at where the box had fallen. As well as the bottle of ink she needed to complete her task. Panic quickly fled through her body at this discovery. _No! I must…He needs to…_  
  
With a last burst of energy she stretched her hand towards the ink, only to have it land on the box, but noticed that the blood she had coughed up had rubbed on the wood. Even now, her mind raced and a thought emerged from its depths. It could work…In a hoarse whisper came, “Severus gravis scribere.” And as her vision began to blur, she saw the glow of the words as they took shape upon the box. A small smile formed upon the corner of her lips, and then she succumbed to the urge to close her eyes.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Severus Snape, feared potion’s master of Hogwarts, and currently the most annoyed person within the entire school, stood in front of his current first year class. It was only the third week into the school year, and already they were trying his patience with pranks, and botched potions. Not that he wasn’t expecting it, but this was by far too soon. Besides, he had other things on his mind at the moment; like how to tell his new wife, of just a mere two months, that he had just arranged for their residence to be moved to his estate in Romania, near the new research facility she had been so eager to work in. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and then scolded one of the students, who had obviously thought that etching designs into the desk in front of him was by far more interesting than the class assignment.  
  
Just as he was about to deduct points from the aforementioned Gryffindor, the door to his classroom creaked opened. His eyes wandered to the offender; ready to reprimand whomever it was that had just interrupted his class. But instead of a student, it was one Albus Dumbledore standing there inside the doorway; looking perhaps the most solemn he had ever seen before. That could not be good. He straightened his back, and tilted his head in question. “Yes…?” Severus watched the slight twitching of the old man’s facial muscles, as the Headmaster thought of what to say. The slight frown that briefly formed there and the light twitch of the man’s eyebrows always seemed to go with bad news for him. Like when he had been told that his father had died, or when that indeed no, he did not expel the marauders for nearly killing him.  
  
“I need to speak with you, it is of the… utmost importance, my boy. Alone.” His voice was softer than he had ever heard before, and there was a deep sadness in the tone that made Severus involuntarily shudder. This definitely could not be good. Not good at all. A sudden panic filled his heart and he felt his lungs tighten. He moved his head ever so slightly to the students to hiss out “Class dismissed.” He did not let his gaze leave the man before him as the class fled the room.  
  
Albus shut the door as the last student left. He took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and then motioned towards the nearest chair. “Please, Severus… You may wish to sit for this…”  
  
Severus slowly sunk into the chair. “Albus… What is all this about?” He tried to hide the fact that his hands were shaking just slightly by holding onto the arms. What could it be? _What could be so horrible that he would have me dismiss my class_?  
  
The headmaster, too, sunk into the chair across from him. “Severus… I… There is really no easy way to tell you…”  
  
“Tell me what? I haven’t been… released, have I?” He attempted to work out the worst in his mind, when a thought came to him. A horrid thought. _No, that simply cannot be… can it?_ He quickly shook his head to remove the atrocious thought from his mind.  
  
“No, unfortunately it is not something so light as that.” _No…_ “A man from the ministry came to me just a few moments ago, and he… He told me…” Albus paused to take a deep breath himself, he too, saddened from the coming news. _No…_  
  
“Albus…” His voice came out scratchier than he intended it to be, hoping beyond hope that somehow that his intuition was for once wrong. That just once his conscious mind had deceived him.  
  
“You have become like a son to me, Severus, and you know that I will always be there for you. You will always have people who love you, and care for you, even if you don’t see it yourself.” _No…_  
  
The man was avoiding the subject. “Albus…” By now his nails were starting to wear through the fabric as he attempted to hide his windmill of emotions from the elder man.  
  
“Severus… It seems that your wife has had some sort of… disease, for quite some time now, and…”  
  
Severus felt his stomach plummet to the floor, and twist in agony. _It can’t be…_ “She has been in perfect health, Albus, you have seen her.”  
“Severus, I… I did, and no one else knew, either. From time to time these things happ-” He was not able to finish his sentence.  
  
“Not to her! She is in _perfect_ health, and furthermore-” This time it was Severus who was cut off.  
  
“Severus, they found her body in the hallway of her old apartment this morning. I’m sorry, so sorry…”  
  
Severus sat eerily still, his hands turning white as they gripped at the arms of the chair. Suddenly he slowly started to shake his head.  
  
“You’re lying. I was with her just last night, and she seemed, she was… She was smiling, and laughing, and…” He trailed off, his throat starting to close on him. He felt a hand on his shoulder then, and noticed that at some point Albus had stood and come over to comfort him. His muscles tensed. “Leave me be.”   
  
The elder man nodded and placed something on the desk beside him. “This was found next to her, I believe this is meant for you…” With that the headmaster quietly left the room, leaving Severus alone. He grabbed the wrapped object Albus had left him with and walked numbly to his quarters. She couldn’t be dead… It must have been some sort of sick prank. Whoever’s idea this was, was going to pay. He shut the door behind him, and looked around, half expecting his wife to be sitting at the table as she usually did at this time of day. She wasn’t. He fell into the chair at that table and looked at the package in his hands, and then placed it upon the table.  
  
“Hermione…” He didn’t even fully realize he had spoken her name aloud.  
  
Gingerly, with shaking hands, he opened it. The small threads fell to the table as a rush of nausea passed through his body. It was a box. And written neatly on it was –SEVERUS___IMPORTANT-  
  
But that is not what sent reality crashing down on him in sick waves.  
  
It was the fact that the inscription on the box, was written in blood.


	2. Part 2

All he needed to do was open the box, though he could not bring himself to do it just yet. It seemed to him… wrong somehow. For nearly an hour he sat, staring at it, this last thing of his wife’s. During this time thoughts tumbled through his head, leading this way and that way, until finally settling on one in particularly disturbing feeling. _She knew…_  
  
He was not able to dwell long upon this thought though. For soon his chamber doors opened to reveal the official that had announced her death. Severus did not turn his gaze from the box when he spoke. “May I help you?”  
  
“We need you to come and… identify the body. I am sorry for any inconvenience to you, sir.”  
  
“Inconvenience?” His voice was so low it was hardly even audible. Then he turned to face the official, who immediately shrunk away from him the moment Severus reached full height. “If you would call all of… _this_ , an inconvenience to me, I would believe you are highly understating it.”  
  
“I apologize, but please…”  
  
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, just then noticing he had not let go of the box. He sighed, and then waved his hand in an offhand manner. “I will go.”  
===============================================================  
  
He had followed in a haze. He felt numb, as if something vital had been ripped from his very being. He tried to focus on the things Albus was saying, who had tagged along for some reason that he had not fully comprehended, but they would not penetrate his mind. He couldn’t even think any longer, it seemed. _Not that I even wish that…_  
  
Suddenly he found himself walking down the hallway of the ministry, and then into a room. It held a large canopy bed in the center, and within it lay an angel… _It looks as if she is sleeping… So peaceful..._ He did not fully comprehend what he was doing, but suddenly she was in his arms, and he hugged her to him as if his very life depended upon it. “Hermione…” He buried his head into her hair. “Wake up… Don’t leave me… Don’t leave me… Hermione please…”   
  
His body began to shake as he held her. _So cold… She is so cold…_ He continued to hold her, momentarily noticing that Albus had everyone leave the room. He pressed his lips to hers, and felt himself choke at the unmoving coldness of them. It was so unfair… He had lost a whole year with her because of his pride, and now he had lost her forever. It simply wasn’t fair. What had she ever done to the gods to deserve this fate? Oh sure, he would deserve it, many times over he deserved it, yet death always seemed to dance right over him as if it were as repulsed by him as most his students.  
  
Carefully he laid her back onto the bed, caressing her cheek absently. Then his thoughts returned. _She was sick… I never knew…_ “How long… How long did you know Hermione?” Anger suddenly boiled up within him and he grabbed a candlestick on the side-table and threw it across the room. “How long did you deceive me? How dare you… How dare you leave me… as if it were nothing?”   
  
He continued his ranting, until finally his anger started to seethe away into the numbness he had felt before, and he sat, staring at her. _She is far too still…_ Without meaning to, he had spoken the words aloud.  
  
“Yes, Severus she is.” The headmaster’s voice seemed far off, and he patted Severus on the shoulder. “It seems that she left instructions to have a burning.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
“It shall be in the morning.” He turned to leave, but paused when he heard Severus speak.  
  
“Headmaster…” He still did not shift his gaze from the body of his wife.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Thank you…” He left the list unspoken. _For being there, for letting me have these last moments with my wife before…_ He couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought. He took his box, and stalked out of the room, his robes flowing behind him.  
  
What he did not hear was when Albus whispered after him, “I still worry for you…”  
==============================================================  
Severus wasn’t able to sleep; he simply stared at the bed all night- their bed. How could he sleep there again? Now that she no longer would be sharing it with him? The answer was simple to him at the time- he wouldn’t sleep.

Which of course, per his resolve he did not.  Instead, he stayed awake until he only mirrored the shell of the man he once was.  Now, at some undetermined moment past the time his world dissolved, he sat in front of the large tower of wood where at the top his Hermione lay.  He not only felt numb, but dizzy from tiredness as well. He was still holding the unopened box. It was during this time that the infamous duo came- Ron Weasley and Harry bloody Potter.  
  
Harry stopped briefly in front of him, his face contorted in anger. “I’m sure I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out that _you_ had something to do with this.” At the unexpected words, Severus looked up, and narrowed his eyes at the boy.  
  
“And I am sure that you _knew_ that this was going to happen.” His words were quiet and cutting. He kept his eyes narrowed until Ron pushed him away.  
  
“ _Harry!_ Not now… Not here.”  
  
The ceremony continued, the elaborate goodbyes, the reflections. He himself did not stand when it came time for either of these. He couldn’t even bring himself to move, it was hard enough for him to manage breathing as it was. Besides, there was nothing that he could really add… Everyone had already known, she was wonderful, brilliant, wonderful sense of humor, and… She was everything to him. And he never really told her enough; he had only admitted it once to her, that night three months ago when he proposed to her… And now…  
  
He stared at the mass of wood in front of him, refusing to focus on any more of the words spoken of her. All too soon her father went up and lit the fires, starting the most brilliant, and horrible, bonfire he had ever seen. There was an urn at the bottom of the stack that was magically charmed to catch only her ashes, so that is where he watched.   
  
Even after the fires had stopped, he watched, unmoving from his spot. The turmoil inside his heart consumed him, making him ache dully from the inside out. _She’s gone…_  
  
Ron watched him, silently through the service. He had never approved of Hermione’s marriage to Snape, as his hatred for the man in school carried on into adulthood. Though, even he could see the softness in his eyes when he looked to Hermione on their wedding day. He wasn’t so disapproving that he would not be there for his best friend on her wedding day. Only it was now that he could see how much the man cared for her, he had never seen him look so lost before…  
  
“I bet it was his fault, I wouldn’t even put it past him if he poisoned her. I knew she should never have married him, Ron. I knew it would end out in disaster.” Ron glared at Harry.  
  
“Get off it, will you Harry? The man just lost his wife. Even I can sympathize with that, not to mention we are at her funeral." He yanked Harry by the arm out of hearing range, nearly anyway, from the man in question.  "I highly doubt she would appreciate you speaking badly of the man she fell in love with.” With that Ron left his friend standing there, looking after him dumbfounded.  
  
“I didn’t realize… I didn’t mean…” Harry fell back into his chair as he stuttered, burying his face within his hands as Ron came to stand behind Snape. Noticing just then that the man was holding onto a box so tightly; a small trickle of blood fell down his hands.  
  
A hand upon his shoulder startled Severus from his silent reverie. He felt his muscles tighten, and then relax again as the grip became tighter. At the time he wasn’t sure of who was there, but he did not care, really. There was someone there, odd as it was, showing that they cared about him, even in the slightest way, and it comforted him some. A moment went by in silence, and then the owner of the hand sat next to him. Without looking up, he whispered to his visitor, “She never told me she was sick…” He trailed off, and felt the hand give his shoulder a little squeeze.  
  
“I don’t believe any of us really knew, Professor.” He was so startled by the voice he had to look up. Ronald Weasley, of all the people there, had come to him.   
  
“Weasley.” He looked away from the boy again when he seen him give his trademark lopsided grin of his, and then the boy spoke softly to him.  
  
“When she told us about… you, we argued with her. Harry never has understood, but I love her enough to accept her decision."  He paused, "I love her you know, not just as a friend, but the other way.  She knew, but she never could return it for me. I know that she loved you, Professor. More than I could ever really love her, and I knew… I knew that you must have loved her very much, just by the way her face lit up when she spoke of you. Ever since you first hooked up three years ago. I…” His voice faltered briefly here, “I wanted to thank you for making her so happy.”  
  
Just as Ron finished his speech, Hermione’s urn was taken inside. If it had been that, the revelation about how happy he had actually made Hermione during the end of her life, or simply the fact that all of his pent up emotions finally just came tumbling down on him all at once that caused his shield to fall, he was not sure. But suddenly his body started to shake, the inevitable silent sobs took over his body, and he hunched over burying his head within his arms as he released his misery as Ron watched helplessly.  
  
From behind them, Harry watched in horrid realization on how much the man he wanted to hate had cared for his best friend. He had just watched the man, of whom he thought was the most callous, uncaring person in the world, break down into tears in front of his very eyes.  
===============================================================  
  
It had been nearly a week, and he still was not able to open the box. _What is wrong with me? She wanted me to open it…_  
  
Though to spite the fact that he had attempted it many times after her funeral, he just couldn’t bring himself to finish the task. It had been just the day before that he went back to teaching classes, and he sat at his desk, correcting papers. But the box kept distracting his attention. It taunted him, drawing his interest in it. He started to glare at it. “Stop staring at me.” _That is it, I have lost my mind…_  
  
He took a deep breath, pushed aside the papers on his desk, and moved the box in front of him. He moved his fingers towards the front latch on the box, trying to keep them steady enough to open the thing. _Come on Severus, you big idiot, it is merely a box, you are acting like a bloody first year dunderhead who thinks that cauldron’s bite you…_  
  
With a quick lick of his lips, he unlatched the box, and shoved it open in one quick motion. There, now it is open. Now all he had to do was open his eyes. He gave a half wince as he did, wondering what sort of thing she felt important enough to leave for him. When he saw what lay inside he half laughed.  
  
A key- a bloody key. He looked at the small tag attached to it.   
  


_Severus, look inside the desk in the study. Lift the wood underneath, and you will find what I have left for you._

  
  
He raised a brow at this, and did as she said. Sure enough, the desk drawer she spoke of was locked. He had never realized this before, how long had it been locked? He shook his head of this thought and unlocked the drawer. He emptied it, and sighed before lifting up the bottom of the drawer. He had come to far to quit now…   
  
He lifted it up, and outright laughed at what he found underneath. There was hardly any space underneath the piece of wood, just enough room for what she had left for him. He smirked, even in her death she was up to her old tricks. His throat clenched momentarily at the inadvertent thought, and he cleared his mind again. Now he was determined. Whatever it was she wanted to tell him, he was going to find out what it was, and he would die trying if it came to that. He picked up the small key inside the drawer and headed towards Diagon Alley.  
  
Towards Gringott’s vault 493.  
==============================================================  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Please review! I am a horrible review junkie, lol. Thank you for your interest in this, and sorry it came out so late today :)


	3. Part 3

Severus sat silently as the mine car whirled wildly about the large bank. His mind turned things over and over within his head at the different possibilities that she could have left behind. _What could she have left for me_? Oddly enough, his mind would not settle long enough on just one thing to clearly answer this question. After all, she had kept her illness a secret, so what if what she had left him was something else of that matter? No, it was better to not think that way

Yet He did. His mind raced with the possible secrets she had hidden from him, each idea worse than the last. Yet, none of the thoughts mattered in the end. _I cant do thisI cant go on alone_ He clenched his jaw- none of this was _fair_. Four years with her was just plainly not enough for him. She had weaseled her way into his heart nearly a month after the defeat of Voldemort. She had surprisingly (or not so surprisingly, considering the way the girl always sought after knowledge) shown up for a RADP(Recent Artistic Dabblings in Potions) meeting, and had pitched in her views. During the course of the meeting, they had a verbal sparring that rose above the rest of the group. She soon had joined into the regular meetings, and he found out that she had just as dry a wit as he. " _I apologize, Severus, but I simply cant help it that you cant view the extent of the theory any further than the length of your nose_." He could still hear her voice in his mind and hoped to great extent that it would never leave him.

The mine car stopped then, and he was jerked out of his reverie when the goblin announced, "Professor Snape for vault 493." He looked over to the goblin, which was looking decidedly annoyed by his distraction. He frowned at the creature then got out of the small compartment, and nodded for the goblin to continue. The goblin went about his work and as the vault clicked when unlocked, he flinched involuntarily. He set his jaw, straightened his back then went through the open door. It was a large room, filled with many books, and after a moment of dazedly looking around, he started to move through it, fingering through them. Not one of them was labeled. _How strange._ He was about to pick one of them up, when towards the back he noticed that on the top of a particular bookcase held what looked like a letter set in a peculiar position. He raised his brow, and went to it.

There was a slight hesitation before he picked up the envelope, and felt his brows furrow. It was unlabeled, but sheer curiosity drove him on. That was the one thing they did have in common, the never-ending urge to find out everything possible. So he opened it, knowing that this must be what she had left for him.

===============

Severus,

I knew you would find this easier if I had not put a single marking on the envelope. Your curiosity deceives you, you know. I am finding this hard to put into words, but I know that I must. To spite the fact that I am in fact a Gryffindor, I am in current finding it hard to obtain that characteristic courage they always speak of, at least when it comes to facing you. We have been wed now for a month, and I hope that when you see this letter, I have actually brought you here, or that I at least have mustered enough courage to have told you in person before the third option occurs.

The third option is that the unthinkable has unfortunately happened, and in that case, then I am truly sorry. I am so sorry, Severus, for I have deceived you. Not intentionally, mind you, but I just simply could not face losing you. I did not tell you before, because I had thought it was nothing major. They had told me it was a simple infection that would go away in time. I was a fool to have believed them. Maybe, if I had realized the severity of my predicament, I could have at least prolonged the symptoms, but I believe I am getting ahead of myself.

It was during our year apart however, whilst I was pregnant, they told me that I only had a few years left to live. That something had gotten into my lungs during the final battle, and started to deteriorate them. It was unfair, Severus. How could I bring a child into the world when I myself could not be there? I knew I had to do something, anything to correct it. I spent all my time away from you trying to find a cure. I hope you dont think that I have simply given up, for I haven't. Unfortunately, my lungs have been getting worse, and I fear that I might not have much time left to find this cure for myself. I know I should have come to you, asked for your assistance, but even I know that it is a fool's task. I wanted to enjoy life, and when you came back I worked very hard to keep that ideal. Grasp onto every moment, create every memory that I could in my short time.

This is why I am writing you this letter, my love. If by chance, this is getting to you by the third option, I have no doubt that none of this is really new to you by now. But, there are other things.

First, on this bookcase you will find around fifty notebooks. They are in chronological order, so they will be easy enough to keep track of the times in them. These are my diaries. I know what you may be thinking, that the know it all does indeed write EVERYTHING down if her diaries can fill an entire bookcase, and she is only 24. To this, I shall retort by sticking my tongue out at you. So there, ha! Now then, as I was saying, they start out when I was 10, just before I started Hogwarts, and I am continuing them on till currently. Every minute detail about my life from that time forward is written in them, and I DO mean everything, so you may wish to keep certain parts from prying eyes, though I do wish for you to share them. Not just with anyone though, mind you. Unfortunately, I have reason behind this.

It is the second thing I find most difficult to tell you. I have kept from you something far more important than my illness, and I beg your forgiveness for my stupidity. I was selfish, Severus, I know I was. I didn't know how you would react if I told you, though I should have told you the very moment you came back to me. It was in my selfishness, I did not. I was looking for the right time to tell you, but then my illness had started to become more prominent and I couldn't. I needed to have you to myself, and it was wrong of me. Now, it has been two months, and I know with my condition becoming worse, I need to let you know, from my own words, though I have taken precautions in case you do not find this on your own.

Severus, I had written you about my pregnancy once, but then never mentioned it again. When you came back to me, I told you I no longer had the baby and you automatically assumed that I had miscarried, or that the baby had died.

Oh Merlin, Severus, I am so sorry. I never corrected you on this. I had only left him with Molly; I couldn't risk having him around, just in case something bad happened to me while I was alone with him. I don't know why I never told you. I was afraid that perhaps you would push us away. Nonetheless, it has been done, and I need you to know. Please forgive me, Severus, and know that I will always love you.

\--Hermione

=================

Severus had not allowed himself to think at all as he read the letter, but noticed towards the end that his hands were starting to shake. He laid the paper back onto the bookshelf, and then let out the breath he had not realized he had been holding. Then the thoughts came. _Merlin, I have a son_ The words replayed in his mind over, and over again as he tried to absorb the information. He had gone to her with the knowledge that she had been pregnant and was willing for whatever that entailed- so long as he could have Hermione back. He would have done anything to have her back. But she had done as she had said in the letter, and he had assumed the worst. He did not wish to open new wounds with her at the time, so he never spoke of it again. Now he knew that his assumption had been incorrect.

He had a _son_. He knew what he had to do. He clutched his chest a moment at the violent thudding his heart made as it lodged itself into his throat. That child was part of him, but more importantly, a part of her. He knew that he should have felt angry about the lie, but he couldn't. This news, this revelation, seemed to make his heart begin again. Perhaps it was the shock of it But he didn't care.

Before he left the vault, he shrunk the bookcase and letter, and placed them within a small pouch where he would safely deliver them to his quarters at Hogwarts. He knew that he would start reading them the moment he was back there securely. Then he left, went to a nearby fireplace on the Floo network, and threw in the powder. Molly Weasley. He felt the sudden lurch of the transportation, and suddenly was standing in the Weasley house. He dusted off the soot on him, and peered around, just a mere moment before a familiar red-haired girl came down the stairs with a baby, also with red hair. Of course she would be there, just his luck.

The girls eyes went wide in shock, and she stammered out a "P-Professor Snape, sir?"

He gave a curt nod to her. "Ms. Weasley." She was not the person he was after but it would hardly do to insult the daughter of said person when they were keeping his son for him. His lip twitched slightly upward at the thought. His _son_.

She suddenly flushed. "Actually, its now Mrs. Potter, it has been for about two years now." At the mention of the marriage he couldn't help but think of his own. How much longer? _How much longer before everything I see or hear will not make me think of her_?

"I see." He clenched his jaw, and then turned from her, making sure that his emotions were in check. "I have come to see your mother, would you happen to know where she might be, or will I have to attempt to find her myself?"

Before the girl could answer, a voice came from the other direction. "No need for that now. What can I do for you, Professor?"

He swiveled his head towards her. "I would presume that you would know the reason for my visit to you, Molly. I was..." He paused to take a breath, his emotions threatening to spill out, "I was told that you are holding something _precious_ of mine." He had slowly, and carefully pronounced the word precious, using that single word to convey to her what he had come for, and his feelings on the matter in one fell swoop.

She smiled brilliantly at him then. "Ah, yes, I see. Though I have to admit that I was not expecting you quite so soon. I was prepared for at least a few more days. Would you perchance like to have some tea before we go up?"

Severus shook his head. "I do believe that I have waited far too long as it is, already."

She nodded, "Very well then, follow me." She led the way upstairs, then stopped at the top and pointed towards the end of a hall. "Well, he is in the room down the hall on the right. I believe I will let you be to introduce yourselves as should be in this sort of matter. Anything else I can do for you now?

He looked down the hall as one thought occurred to him. "Does he have a name?"

"Amius. She named him Amius Snape."

His eyes grew wide momentarily, before residing back into their schooled indifference. "She gave him my name." He squared his shoulders. _Loved_. His son's name meant that he was loved. "Very well." He gave her a quick nod before going down the hall and to the room. With a quick breath through his nose he opened the door before him and entered the small room. Before him was a small crib and he walked to it. It took him only a moment to become absolutely mesmerized by the small creature inside. His breath hitched within his throat as the child grabbed onto his finger and cooed at him. It didn't take him very long to take him into his arms in a gentle cradle, letting him play idly with his stray strands of hair.

"So, you are Amius, then?" He was rewarded with a small noise and a tug on his hair, "Nice to meet you, it seems that I am your father, so I hope that the feeling is rather mutual, hm?" The child blew a spit bubble at him, and then fell asleep. _Remarkable_. He stared at him, admiring the small life that he was holding. He had helped create this With Hermione He suddenly had the urge to both laugh and cry at the same time. He felt guilty because he felt such sheer joy at seeing the child for the first time, yet guilty because he could not bring himself to enjoy it more because of the hole that was prominent inside of his heart. _She should have been here for this_.

She should _be_ there for this. He shuddered and a tear fell onto Amius' small cheek. None of this was really fair at all. None of it at all.

Severus stood holding him for a while before finally putting him back into the crib, unwillingly. Carefully he exited the room and shut the door, trying not to make any extra sound as he did so. He silently went down the hall, and then nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the bane of his life, Harry Potter, standing there at the end of the hall, blocking the only exit he had in the odd house that was the home of the Weasleys.

"Might I ask why it is that you insist on getting in my way, Mr. Potter, or are you simply trying to annoy me?"

The boy looked away and spoke almost inaudibly. "Ginny told me you were here and I wanted to apologize. "

Snape's eyes grew wide. Surely he was mistaken; surely he did not just hear Potter attempt to apologize to him. It simply wasn't in the boys nature. "Pardon?"

"I _apologize_ , Professor Snape." Before Severus could say anything, Harry pressed on in a quick whirlwind of breathless apologies. "I apologize for suspecting you in my first year, I apologize for believing you wanted to destroy me, I apologize for doubting your intentions, I apologize for looking into your pensieve, I apologize for embarrassing you in my seventh year, and foremost I apologize for never believing that you actually could care for Hermione. Harry let out an exasperated sigh. I am not saying that I suddenly _like_ you, or that I will _ever_ like you. Hermione once said the only thing that we would ever probably agree on is the fact that we would give our lives for others, if need be. I have been thinking lately, after her funeral-" He paused momentarily, and Snape took advantage.

"Congratulations, _Mr. Potter,_ at conquering that skill. I know you weren't so adept at such things while at Hogwarts." He smirked secretly glad that he was able to even make the quip in spite of his current mental state.

Harry rolled his eyes and gave a half laugh. "At least I know you're always consistent." He took a breath, "I actually came mostly to tell you If you need help, then Ginny would be more than happy to lend you a hand with He nodded towards the door behind Snape. You know. Hermione sent us a letter explaining that even though you have a busy schedule with teaching, you would never ask for help. So I will offer it. He paused again. For Hermione of course.

Severus raised his fingers to his nose. How long have you known of him?

"Hours, to be honest. Sort of a shock, Mrs. Weasley hid him well."

Severus cocked his brow at him. "Hours? Of course you would feel the need to rush over to see if it were true." His words were sour, scathing.

"She asked me to tell you if you didn't already know. Seems I don't have to do that now."

Severus considered him a moment then nodded, changing the subject. I will consider your offer then. He looked at him then, and then twisted his lips into a smirk. For Hermione, of course. To this Harry simply nodded his head, and then went back downstairs.

He watched the boy turn the corner then looked back at the door that held his slumbering son. _He needs me_ For the first time since his wife's death, he felt his lips twitch for a real smile. That was when he knew, that for his son, he would survive. That he would somehow get through this.

 _Somehow_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I had to do more rewriting on this than I planned on, but here it is, the end. I hope you liked the story, because if you are reading this you obviously suffered through the entire thing. lol Thank you all for reading! :)


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